Haven't blogged in a while mostly due to the sheer fact that my life has been complete chaos...and it's still not over. It's finals week and in less then a week I will be a Junior in college with only 2 more years to "do whatever I want" and "real life begins."As each school year comes to an end, I always find I have learned not only more academically, but more about myself. In my sophomore year i've learned a lot about myself:
1) Balance in life is key.
Nothing is worth stressing out enough to the point where you have a break down. I realized this as I broke down in the financial aid office at TCU when my mother forgot to pay my monthly tuition due to her lack of technology skills and not knowing how to use "ezbill" online. Therefore, my account was on hold and I could not sign up for classes that had one or two slots left. However, my dramatic tear fest did allow the poor ladies in the financial aid office to feel bad for my pathetic self so I did get to sign up for the classes I wanted. After I walked out of that office feeling completely pathetic and overly dramatic, I realized a few things: 1) Fight for the things you want in life...but do so with a little more grace and dignity then I did. 2) Things won't always work out your way, but life goes on. 3) Never yell at your parents ever...all they want is for your to be happy.
2) Be who are 100%.
Going to a very materialistic school where everyone talks about everyone, it is hard not to care what people think about you. I had very few enemies in high school and have very few enemies in college, but I think that is because I've always hated confrontation and have just never wanted to deal with any drama. Freshmen year I got sucked into trying to be someone I wasn't. I am a California girl who came to Texas and experienced a complete culture shock. I joined a sorority at a very Greek school where if you don't dress or act a certain way you're considered a "GDI (god damn indepedent)"..which isn't a good thing at this school? I fell into the whole southern greek life craze. It only took me going back home for a break to realize how pathetic it all is though. This school is filled with kids whose real selves and souls are covered up with neon tank tops and crookies. It's really sad actually. People are more concerned about being classified by the Greek organization they are then, then what type of person they are.
3) You don't have to like everyone, and not everyone has to like you.
Freshmen year I wanted to get to know everyone and be friends with everyone. But then I realized that I don't sincerely like some people and certain relationships just felt fake. I've met some of the best people here that I know God put into my life for a reason, and I've also met some people here where I have to remind myself on a daily basis that "God knows the truth about them," or that karma will do justice on them. Although I hate confrontation, there are a few relationships in my life where I would rather not be friends with that person, then have a completely fake relationship with someone I really don't even want to associate myself with. In life you will meet people who will change your life, and you will meet people who you really wish would just disappear..but you have to learn to deal with it. In school, in the work place, even in your family, there will always be that person who just pisses you off. You don't have to like them, and they don't have to like you. There is a difference between being "fake" and being "civil." For those people who I don't agree with, civil is all we will ever be, and hey, that's perfectly fine with me. If you surround yourself with good people and try to do what is right in all you do,that's good enough. Don't waste your time caring about someone who doesn't care about you..however cliche that sounds, it's so true.
As this year comes to an end and I've learned some valuable life lessons, relationships have blossomed and grown strong, some relationships have fizzled, and I'm "ripping posters off the wall and moving boxes into the hall" and starting a new chapter in my life...i'm playing "Pull My Heart Away" by Jack Penate. Perfect song for the end of a very transformational and eye opening school year.
